A few times, I've been tempted to curl up into a ball and accept the jerk's abuse, but I've decided to shove him out the door, change the locks, and get on with my story. I've decided that it's OK to let it suck.
You see, I think the weak moments came about because I am still coming off the high of getting my second book, Serenya's Song, polished up and sent on her merry way. I'm still basking in the glow of wonderful reviews that attest to THAT book not sucking. It seems I forgot somewhere along the way that it took me a good year and approximately 287 drafts to ensure Serenya's Song didn't suck.
I certainly don't claim that any of my work is literary genius or worthy of Pulitzer Prizes or A Nobel Prize for Happy Endings, but by the time I finished with each of my first two books, I knew I'd done my best, that neither of them sucked. In fact, according to their readers, they were at the very least "pretty good."
Hearts In Exile is a work-in-progress, still in early draft stage. I have an outline, yet the plot is still working itself out. I'm still getting better acquainted with the characters, finding their voices along the way, discovering their quirks, faults, and strengths. And the quality is going to suck for a while, until I get all the major stuff ironed out, like a cohesive storyline & character roles.
Passive voice is running rampant, with enough "was"s, "were"s, and "had"s to choke a horse. Characters are either behaving like drama queens or are as one-dimensional as a napkin. My critique partners are slowly going bald as they work through each chapter. Lindsey, I'm certain, will be completely without eyebrows by the time we're finished.
Yet, I will trudge on, because I look back now on when I first started this series in 2009 and remember all the blood, sweat, and tears I shed on behalf of these stories.
Self-Doubt smacks on the patio door glass and yells: You don't have another book in you!
I yell back, "Watch me!" and shut the blinds, because I really don't want that jerk watching me at all.
Q&A time: In what areas to YOU need to kick Self-Doubt to the curb?